Wednesday 20th Sept
I get card for seat 6 Caesar’s Palace. Ray’s on my right. I ask him if he thinks we need the air-con on. He says he’s comfortable. I’m a little hot, but say nothing, I’ve got a nice cold Becks to take it down. The familiar strains of ‘Now That’s What I Call Music 43’ waft through the cardroom. I’m cool. I’m waiting for a big pair and enjoying the atmosphere when the chap sitting to my left says, “Do you know what the biggest threat facing mankind is?” “Eh?” I have to think for a moment then say, “The admiration of the ignoble?” “What?” he says. “The admiration of the ignoble,” I say. “No,” he says. “Africa.”
He’s a very personable sort of guy. Know what I mean? Quietly spoken, friendly smile. “What’s your name, mate ” I say. “John,” he says. “Hi John,” I say, “my name’s Phil, fancy a beer?” “Thanks,” he says and goes on to explain how the West’s indifference to the suffering of the World’s poor will eventually result in a lethal pandemic that will wreak devastation upon rich and poor alike.
While John expounds this cogent and humane theory, I find my eyes irresistibly drawn to the words emblazoned upon his sweatshirt - Ladbrokes WSOP Team - and wonder if he might prove to be the biggest threat facing me.”
It’s the first level of the rebuy period. I limp a couple of times into friendly pots, folding without pain when I miss. Don’t get involved again until I find AK suited. Call a raise, flop a King, call two all-ins and treble-up.
Feeling chipper. Should make it to the break without having to rebuy. Chat with John. He’s a really nice guy. He introduces me to his mascot Ralph. Ralph’s a little porcelain squirrel perched a-top John’s growing pile of chips. “Why a squirrel,” I ask. “Because he’s always got the nuts,” says John. I chuckle.
Sit tight during the second period. John buys me another beer. I return the favour. Get no cards and with no more friendly pots, just watch, as the action gets livelier. Only action I get involved in is when Jerome who is dealing on Rio gets up from his seat and knocks my drink over. Amazingly, Ray and I both escape without a drop on us. Carpet and chairs get a drenching though. Sarah comes with a cloth. I order a replacement.
More action. Perry is all-in. His A6 goes up against AQ. Perry wins when a 7 on the river makes his straight. By the end of the third level, I haven’t played another hand, people going all-in pre-flop every hand. Buy my double add-on and go off for a beer and a smoke.
After the break, sit down with just under 7,000 chips. Totally card dead. Resolve to be patient. Action all round me. 2 players go down. The clock ticks. Growing aware of the danger of getting blinded-out. Dying for a smoke. Waitress brings two more Becks. I suddenly notice Perry’s gone. “Has he gone out?” I ask. “No,” says John, “he’s been moved to another table.”
Soon after, Big Stu comes and sits opposite me with about double my stack. A quick recky of the table and I calculate that I am Mr Short-stack. Notice that Dru Doshi has joined our table too and he’s got an absolute bl’’dy mountain of chips.
Look round the room to see that we are down to 2 tables. Manage to knock over my beer. Still, things are going well, we’re down to two tables and I’ve only played one hand. Look back. Get 73 off. Fold, then notice that Ralph has got a peanut. No honestly, I'm not making this up, he’s got a real peanut sitting in front of him. I look at John, say nothing. Obviously he and Ralph are very close. Order a replacement for the spilt beer.
Still no cards. Well, I get a 66, but I’m under the gun, so I fold. Then I get 88, but Arif has pushed all-in before I can bet. Decide to fold, wait for something better. Arif gets a caller. 8 comes on the board. Would have made a set. Would have trebled-up. Arif goes out. Get KQ, but Raj pushes all-in, so I fold. Raj gets a caller. Flop comes QK something-or-other. Raj goes out. I miss out.
Not to worry, we’re having a great evening. John is telling me and Perry that in his experience poker players are in the main really nice people. We all nod. I look at Perry’s lucky charm. It’s a bright silver coin in a clear plastic case to keep it pristine. But it can’t have been Perry. He was moved to another table. Must have been Stu. Decide that John really is a nice person, but wonder if he may be judging people by his own standards, if you you know what I mean. Could do with another beer.
Play continues. Get Q10 suited. Right, this is it. Must act now, but before it gets round to me, Gary Wiles raises and Dru Doshi re-raises, scattering chips into the middle like a bleeding shower of green confetti. I fold.
Next, I find A9 suited in the small blind. Decide to pounce. The blinds are 400/800. Time I got busy. Push, as they say. Bully the big blind (nice John) into surrendering a much needed 800 chips. Make the correct bet of 2400 chips. This is confirmed for me by Big Stu. Nice John in the big blind thinks for about two seconds and goes all-in on me.
For f ''k's sake! (Sorry, ladies).
Take my time in folding, though there is never any doubt in my mind that I am going to fold. Pretend that I am on the point of calling, but really I am wondering how to cover my embarrassment. Wish I could think of something clever to say. Can’t. All I can think to do is to fold with an exaggerated air of reluctance. John tells me he had 1010. I believe him. Just my luck.
Next, Ray is raising. John calls. A king hits the flop. Ray pushes it all in. John calls. John has a king with an ace kicker. Ray doesn’t have king.
The blinds are up again and I can’t buy a hand. Down to about 3000 chips. When am I ever going to get a hand? Wonder if maybe I should get my own little mascot or lucky charm or something. Stare in disbelief when I notice that Ralph’s peanut has gone. Spooky.
The big blind is getting close. Must concentrate, but I can’t stop looking at little Ralph the squirrel sitting proudly on his tower of chips. I wonder that he doesn’t get vertigo, stuck up so high. The peanut must have fallen off, I reason, though I can’t see it anywhere. Must have.
Cards are being dealt. Next hand I’ll be in the big blind. Look down to find rags. Again. It’s hot in here. Bottle’s empty. Order another. Could really murder a cigar.
Big blind is on me now. John’s under the gun. He limps. Everyone else folds round to me. Even the small blind folds. Look down. J9 off. Try again. Push in half my chips with a air of invincibility. John thinks for about half a second, then calls. Flop comes two rags with an A. I think for a bit. Feeling under pressure, realizing that delay looks weak. If I am to win this pot, I decide, I must make a continuation bet. I shove it all in like a hunter who has trapped his quarry. John doesn’t need to think. Calls instantaneously. John has got an ace with a king kicker. I shake his hand and wish everybody luck.
Bit disappointed. Thought I'd played well. Unlucky not to make it to the final table this time. Still, you get 10 bonus league points on a Wednesday. Make a mental note to see where I am in the table. Go to the bar to get a beer, then wander over to the cash table.
Find out later that Dru won first prize with John and Ralph coming joint second.
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